‘waiting’ implies that i am wasting time in order to obtain a greater goal. yet, i am not.
yes, i sit here in this musty room with barbie pink wallpaper older than me and chairs that feel like they are eating away at my spine. there are magazines that tell me gossip that i forgot months ago and other people in the room who already feel like family. we dont like each other but we’re stuck in the same room and i occasionally glance around at the delicate mix of diseases.
there is a man who is a bona-fide hypochondriac, with his white mask strangling his face, his hand sanitizer that he constantly smears across his hands, and the “book of common ailments” resting beside him.
next to him is a man who was coughing at rapid rate that was being mentally calculated by the hypochondriac. his noise was worn away by an overuse of tissue and he constantly would turn towards the hypochondriac, blowing noisy germs all over him. eventually, the man in the mask moved two seats away, glaring at the flu ridden gentleman with a stare that could pierce metal.
then there is the single mother of two, who was shoving yellow trucks and stuffed bunnies at her children to avoid responsibility. you could tell she would have given anything to go back to the night of conception and said ‘no’ like all those youth aimed posters tell you to. but now she was stuck with two miniature twins who were squealing “how much longer mummy, how much longer…”.
i could see a man with acne as skin; he kept touching his oiled face and you could see that he had tried to hide himself by growing his mustard coloured hair long enough to wrap around his shoulders.
i didn’t feel sorry for any of these patients. they would get their fix of drugs and dose up on flu tablets, pimple cream and condoms. but i did feel sympathy towards the middle aged lady sitting aimlessly behind the reception desk. she wasn’t going anywhere and i could imagine the last thirty five years being a never ending hodgepodge of sneezes, fevers, limps, pokes, prods, the elderly, the young… all wanting to get better right now. she’d probably seen all the common sicknesses in the world and no-one had ever thanked her for taking the patients name and asking them to take a seat. she looked divorced by the hopeless glint in her eye, but i was just guessing.
despite my feelings towards this lady, i suspected i would turn out similar: my future goal didn’t expand past swiping groceries with a frown on my face at Woolworths.
i’d been working there for 26 years and was getting every single employee benefit imaginable. discounted groceries, my own locker, a specialized name badge, my choice of what register to use and even a minute portion of Woolworth shares. i guess i liked it there, the sheer lack of responsibility and the very appealing green checkered uniform. i had my friends there who i’d see outside of work at christmas parties but apart from that, i didnt know anyone in my town.
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to be continued.
